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Search Results 0 to 20 of about 21 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Dec 7, 2012 7:30pm PST
a philosophical differences of goff fern-- governing. so this bring up this is one of of the larger pet peeve force me to the party to which you currently belong. >> currently? >> jon: i think you're going to have to start your own because i don't think republicans will be happy because you've been too nice to obama too. so new jersey is in trouble. and it needs the federal government to step in and you go to them and you say i need this amount of money. and there's some horse trading. but for the most part they're going to deliver at least 30 billion dollars to the state of new jersey, wouldn't you say? or maybe even a little more. >> i'm hopeful, hopeful. >> jon: at the same time they want to set up exchanges for health insurance. >> right. >> and you don't want to do that. >> right. >> i don't want to do it right now. >> jon: when they're doing it. >> well, no, no, no. because here's the issue, jon. and why i vetoed it. i'm asking a bunch of questions about how much it will cost and everything else. and they won't answer my questions, so i say to them listen, and what i said today is i'm t
Comedy Central
Dec 5, 2012 11:00pm PST
drugs go through a tough examination by the federal government biker the f.d.a. >> exactly. government-approved immediate only has these mine side effects. >> stiff muscles and confusion. dry mouth and insomnia. uncontrollable muscle movements. bleedinbleeding and ulcers. sexual side effects. unpleasant taste. diarrhea. seizure. lung cancer. rare by fatal infections. heart attack or stroke. >> and may cause death. >> while weed, on the other hand, can lead to such problems as early-onset hunger syndrome and chronic keyboarding. despite these dangers, he had a final pitch that would seal the deal. >> thank you very much for listening. enjoy the buffet. >> that's right. the first buffet is free. and the seniors, buzzing from their white fish highs, were hooked. >> i don't know what kind of reaction it will have, but i'm willing to try it. >> you're going to try it. >> if it will help me in any way make me feel better for the rest of my life, i'd try anything. >> you'd try anything? >> sure. >> why not move to bangkok and hang out with a gang of transvestite hookers and shoot up? >> i lik
Comedy Central
Dec 4, 2012 11:00pm PST
. basically telling the government it needs a mix of diet and exercise if i want f it wants to reduce its chances of succumbing to heart disease or swollen prostate -- christ, i just turned 50. (laughter) no, i'm sorry. basically this plan is around somewhat what obama said he was going to do about the budget while he was on the campaign trail. so i guess we can put that another way. >> the proposal that came forward yesterday really is a joke. >> i'm not surprised at my colleague, senator mcconnell laughed at that proposal. >> the president's plan does nothing but damn to us becoming greece. >> disappointing. >> disappointed. >> i'm really disappointed. (laughter) >> jon: really? because you don't sound that disappointed, quite frankly. do you want to know what disappointed sounds like? >> disappointed! (applause) >> jon: that guy's clearly disappointed. even though that might have been what from what i understand at the internet a stage direction. he just happened to say it outloud. i don't know if that's true but why not spread it as far as i can. to their credit, the republicans didn'
Comedy Central
Dec 10, 2012 11:00pm PST
ceiling is >> it gives the government permission to pay back the money we already borrowed >> jon: totally right. i didn't understand it because he was talking too fast but i think he's [bleep] right. and i like that lady too. i don't know her. even if senator mcconnell doesn't understand the debt ceiling he does understand how to play senate chess. he knows while obama wants the debt ceiling debate removed, senate majority leader harry reid, he don't have the 51 votes he needs to get that passed so mcconnell is going to trap reed in a corner. >> an unlimited authority to borrow whenever he wants to for whatever amount he wants to? if the majority leader supports that proposal i would hope we can get a vote on it to give his members a chance to express themselves as to whether or not they think that's a good way forward for our country. >> jon: [bleep]. it is a classic opening. he's proposing a bill that he doesn't support, mcconnell, knowing that the president will look bad when harry reid refuses to call a vote on it >> senator mcconnell made a serious offer dealing with the debt ceiling
Comedy Central
Dec 11, 2012 11:00pm PST
of former prime minister silvio berlusconi withdrew its support for monti's government last week. >> jon: holy (bleep). (laughter) how does this guy do that? italy, what are you doing? berlusconi doesn't even want this. >> speaking to reporters at a football match he sounded almost reluctant. "i'm returning sadly to public service." (laughter) "again, i'm doing it out of a sense of responsibility." (laughter) stphaoud if you had a sense of responsibility you would have stopped at the seventh girl! you went eight! when has berlusconi ever displayed a sense of responsibility? his family crest is a guy (bleep)ing in a swimming pool! (laughter). (cheers and applause) congratulations to the graphics team on that one. (laughter) they've outdone themselves. maybe you don't want monti, fine. but does that mean berlusconi has to take over? don't off football star? that guy could be it. roberto be benigni, he's so fun. mario! such a good driver! il divo, there's four of them! they could split it up, for god's sakes. this guy is unbelievable. he has taken what normally would be enough oil yee gotis
Search Results 0 to 20 of about 21 (some duplicates have been removed)